


Restoration

by Grooot



Series: The Ministry of Snakes [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, HP: EWE, Humor, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-12 06:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13541973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grooot/pseuds/Grooot
Summary: This work continues on from the events of “The Ministry of Snakes”. The Minister and his associates have been arrested. While the rest of the society deals with the aftermath and begins movement towards rebuilding the Ministry, Hermione turns her mind to Australia and her plans of reversing the memory spell she cast on her parents. And if she happens to currently be shagging one of Britain’s most accomplished wizards, that’s got to be a help surely.





	1. Planning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CeleryThesis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeleryThesis/gifts), [FrancineHibiscus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrancineHibiscus/gifts), [gingerbred](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingerbred/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Ministry of Snakes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13199862) by [Grooot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grooot/pseuds/Grooot). 



> So you guys asked for a bit more in this ‘universe’, hope you like it!

Hermione was making final checks against her list of items to take with her to Australia. Ron and Harry were slumped across from her at the kitchen table, both looking a bit haggard.

“Hermione, are you shagging Snape?” Ron asked suddenly.

“No, I’m eating toast. Honestly Ron if you can’t tell the difference that certainly explains why it didn’t work out between you and Susan.” Hermione said, finalising the list and rolling up the parchment.

“You know what I mean.” Grinned Ron.

“What makes you ask?”

“He’s upstairs in the shower, whistling. And you look, well, very relaxed and smiley.” Explained Harry.

“Considering recent events, that’s not how we expected to find either of you this morning.” Added Ron.

“We’re together, if that’s what you’re asking.” Confirmed Hermione. Ron and Harry shared a look of incomprehension.

“Wow, Hermione, I’m....not exactly sure how to feel about this.” Said Harry hesitantly.

“Let me help you.” Said Hermione. “Your first reaction is disbelief, concern and a tiny bit of disgust. You ask yourself, ‘what about my mum?’ then you worry about his age and that he used to be our teacher. Then you think, well, they are actually quite compatible, and that you’ve found Snape very different to how you remembered. You reflect on Snape’s sacrifices during the war and decide he should have a chance at living. Then you realise what you really want above all is for your best friend to be happy and decide that you will respect her choices and will give nothing but love and support.”

“I’m a lot deeper thinker than I imagined.” Said Harry, smiling at her and running a hand through his hair ruefully.

“I don’t think my brain could handle that range of emotions.” Argued Ron. Hermione turned to him.

“That’s easy. You think, ‘wow, good for them’ and then feel a bit jealous that I’m getting some and you’re not.”

“That sounds more like me.” Ron agreed proudly.

“Just don’t be weird to him about it. He’s very worried how people will take it. I _really_ like him so, yeah.”

“Mum will lose it.” Said Ron. “Prepare yourself for wildly inappropriate personal questions regarding weddings and babies.” Hermione paled.

“Yikes.”

“McGonagall is the one who is going to lose it. I don’t know whether in a good way or a bad way.” Said Harry.

“I’ve already spoken with her. She’s fine.” Hermione said firmly. Harry sent her a side eye.

“That sounded slightly ominous, but I’ll leave it alone.”

“You don’t call him Snape in bed do you?” Ron teased, Harry punched him in the arm.

“I find myself unable to form coherent sentences at all if you must know.” Said Hermione, waggling her eyebrows in her best imitation of Ron.

“Ron, why on earth would you ask that?” Harry demanded, looking slightly peaky.

“Well, like Hermione said, she’s getting some, I’m not, so I’m living vicariously through her.” Ron argued. Hermione grinned, pleased at how they were taking the news. They heard Severus’ footsteps down the stairs and Hermione shot both the boys a meaningfully stern look. He entered the room and Hermione rolled her eyes at Harry and Ron’s pitifully transparent attempts at nonchalance. Severus glanced at Hermione, who smiled in what she hoped was an encouraging manner, and he rolled his eyes and sat down heavily next to her.

“So, you’re off to Australia today?” Harry asked Hermione, breaking the silence before it built into something uncomfortable.

“Yes, Severus thinks we can reverse the spell on my parents.” Hermione said, smiling at the man next to her. He cleared his throat.

“We should be able to, based on what I’ve read. But nothing is certain in these types of situations.” Severus glanced at Hermione. “There is a chance it won’t work.” She nodded and reached over, taking his hand.

“I know that. But I want to at least try.” She said. Severus squeezed her hand gently and smiled reassuringly at her.

Harry and Ron watched the exchange between the pair, chewing slowly on their breakfast. Ron gave Harry’s his best ‘Are you seeing this?’ stare which Harry returned with his version of “Yes, shut up and eat’.

“We’ll keep in touch about what’s going on.” Said Harry.

“Please tell me you are actually going to use the phone I bought you.” Hermione mock pleaded. Harry shrugged.

“Can’t be that hard right?”

“Remember it won’t work within the Ministry or your work. But you’ll get any messages I send anywhere in muggle Britain.” Explained Hermione.

“Alright Harry, let’s go.” Said Ron, shoving the last piece of bacon in his mouth. “Be safe Hermione, good luck.” He leant over and gave her a one armed, greasy hug. “See you Snape.”

“Please don’t hug me.” Said Severus, looking askance at the bacon grease residue on Hermione’s shoulder. Ron laughed. Harry gave Hermione a proper, pork-fat-free embrace and nodded to Snape.

“I hope everything goes well.” He said. “I’m not sure who to tell to take care, so, well, please don’t die. Either of you.”

“Ah finally something I’m good at.” Severus said, slightly witheringly.

“We’ll be back before you know it.” Said Hermione, waving the boys off. She waited until the apparation pops were heard then she turned to Severus.

“When do you want to-“ Was all Severus managed to say before Hermione deposited herself on his lap, and pulled his head down and his lips onto hers. When she drew back he had completely forgot what he was going to say.

“You’re a wonderful kisser.” Said Hermione dreamily.

“I don’t think that’s normal for me.” Said Severus. “Maybe I just have good inspiration.” Hermione grinned.

“You say the perfect thing and you don’t even try to.”

“Now that’s _definitely_ not normal for me.” Said Severus. She kissed him again, then sat back and smoothed his hair down with her hands.

“I suppose we’d better get to the portkey station.” Hermione sighed.

————————————

“Enjoy your visit, welcome to Australia.” Beamed the immigration official at the Brisbane portkey station. Hermione took back her passport and looked behind her. Severus was talking to an official, who upon examining the passport, waved at a door to the right. In confusion, Hermione watched as they entered the room together. Hermione, slightly worried, sat on a chair and waited. Approximately five minutes later they returned to the main area and Severus was given his passport back. He looked around, saw Hermione and walked over to her.

“Let’s go.” He said.

“What was that about?”

“Temporary locating spell. They’ll remove it when we leave.”

“Oh, I didn’t get one I think.” Hermione said worriedly, craning her head to find an official to wave down and Severus smiled grimly.

“It was a condition of entry to Australia for me. Because of my time in Azkaban they normally wouldn’t let me in at all, but Minerva organised a waiver, and I had to agree to this.”

“Your time in-what, when they kidnapped and tortured you?” Asked Hermione angrily.

“No. My.....other time.” He said, his mouth tense.

“Oh.” Said Hermione in a small voice.

“Yes.” Severus said. She looked up at his face.

“I’m sorry. I should have thought of that.” She said guiltily. Severus looked at her, bemused.

“Why should you have? I wanted to come with you, I don’t care about what i had to do to make that happen. I mean, you wanted me here didn’t you?” He seemed suddenly very unsure. Hermione felt that rush of feeling towards him again, and lifted up on her toes to kiss him softly.

“Thank you.”

He put his arms around her and tucked a curl behind her ear.

“Your hair looks terrible in the humidity.” He said.

“Bastard.” Hermione laughed.

“I felt I needed to remind you.”

“Good point. I was feeling extraordinarily soppy towards you.”

“Well the heat _can_ make people delusional.” Serverus said, tucking her hand in his and leading her out the door,

“I have the Australia Apparation guide in my bag.” Said Hermione.

“Let’s have a walk and something to eat first.” Severus said. “The weather appears to be not disgusting.”

“I would have thought sunlight was your enemy.” Hermione teased, looking up at his pale face.

“That, and garlic and holy water naturally.” Said Severus, taking a pair of sunglasses out of his pocket and putting them on. Hermione laughed. She felt that this moment—away from the mess of the Ministry, ambling along the Riverwalk hand in hand—was perfection. She knew the issue of dealing her parents’ memories was causing her a lot of anxiety, which seemed to be building in a rolling wave that threatened to engulf her. But it eased when she concentrated on the firm hand around hers, and the calloused thumb that stroked her palm every now and then. If Severus couldn’t do it, well.....then no one could, and she would have done everything in her power to try and make it right. 


	2. Monica and Wendell

“Severus wake up!”

Severus sat upright, wand instantly in hand.

“What’s wrong?”

“You were screaming. I had to wake you. It sounded like you were being tortured.” Hermione said, her voice wavering somewhat. Severus relaxed.

“Oh. Yes. Thank you for waking me.” He could just make her out next to him in the dark. He reached over to her and pulled her against him.

“What were you dreaming about?” She asked against his chest.

“You made me go to a Weasley dinner party.” She laughed at that, although a little hesitantly.

“Did I make you sit next to Percy?”

“No, Arthur, and he was insisting I explain the internet to him.” A burst of real laughter escaped her.

“No wonder you were screaming.” They lay in the darkness for a while.

“I don’t suppose you’ll tell me really what you were dreaming about.” Hermione asked.

“No. It’s bad enough it’s in _my_ head.” Replied Severus. Hermione said nothing, what could she say that wouldn’t sound like an empty platitude? She listened instead to the sound of waves crashing against the sand outside and concentrated on the sensation of the chest rising and falling under her cheek until she fell back to sleep.

——————————

Hermione’s parents had settled in Angourie, a small coastal town in the far northern part of New South Wales. Hermione and Severus had rented a compact, weatherboard beach house with a beautiful deck that extended almost to the sand. They decided to settle in for a day or so before tackling the issue of Hermione’s parents and were enjoying the quiet of the area and the beautiful surroundings.

The morning after Severus’ nightmare found them sitting on a bench, looking out at the waves.

“Thinking of going out? It’s pretty small, but it’s glassy.” Said a voice beside them. Hermione turned to see a man who had sat down next to her. She hadn’t even noticed him, she’d been so consumed in her own thoughts.

“Oh. Um, sorry what?” She asked and his face brightened.

“Oh, poms right? Awesome. I thought you were checking out the surf.” He said.

“I’m afraid we don’t surf.” Admitted Hermione. The man laughed.

“Yet. You don’t surf yet. My sister is a coach here at the local school if you want to learn.”

“Thanks, if we have time, maybe I’ll give it a go.” Hermione said smiling. The man’s grin widened and he leaned forward to look at Severus.

“Cool ink mate, did you get it here?” Severus’ face paled and his eyes darted down to the exposed Mark.

“No. I got it at home, a long time ago.” He said uncomfortably.

“Oh it’s got a few years in it eh? Must have been done really well, it stills looks fresh. I just got this done myself.” He rolled up the sleeve of his t-shirt to show a tattoo sleeve depicting a unicorn amongst a meadow of colourful flowers.

“Oh that’s lovely!” Exclaimed Hermione in delight.

“Yeah, my daughter is three, she loves unicorns. You know, they’re all magical and shit.” The man said fondly.

“Indeed.” Said Severus.

“You look familiar, have we met?” The man asked Hermione.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Well, nice chatting with you guys. I’ve got to work so if I want to go out at all today, I gotta go now.” He stood, and with a half wave, wandered off down the beach.

Severus caught Hermione’s eye and they both burst out laughing.

“Welcome to Hogwarts!” Hermione exclaimed.

“Where we shall teach you all manner of things all magical and shit.” Severus finished.

“That was amazing!” Giggled Hermione. “I love Australia.” She sighed, leaning back.

“Speaking of magical and shit, has Potter been in touch?”

“In a manner of speaking. He’s obviously spoken to someone about being cool while messaging and I can barely decipher anything he says. They’ve begun prosecution of the lower order offenders. You’re the most exciting news apparently.” Severus sighed.

“What an excellent time to be out of the country.”

“Well there are piles of fan letters arriving every day.” Hermione said. “And underwear, sent by witches who find your dark past and tragic love story makes them moist.” Hermione told him, and laughed at his astonished face.

“Sounds ghastly and almost certainly unhygienic.”

“Well I’m hopeful you are only interested in the underwear of one witch.” Hermione admonished teasingly.

“Definitely. But if she finds out about you I’ll be in trouble.” Severus said and Hermione pushed him, laughing in faux outrage.

“You are awful.”

“Yes I am.”

Hermione leant against Severus’ shoulder and he shifted so he could put an arm around her.

“I’m scared about my parents.” She said.

“I know.”

“If it doesn’t work, well, that’s it I guess. My family is gone for real.”

“You’ll still have your two bumbling, overprotective brothers and their disgusting table manners.” Severus pointed out. Hermione smiled.

“True. And I’ll have you.”

“I thought we were trying to cheer you up.”

“Severus.” Hermione growled warningly. He squeezed his arm around her tighter and she snuggled against him a bit.

Afterwards, Hermione had managed to convince Severus to go to the local fish and chip shop where she was deciding between the crumbed whiting or local oysters when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, excuse me.”

Hermione turned around. It was her father, smiling at her.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but you look so much like my wife, I wanted to ask if you’d mind taking a photo with her. We think it’s amazing!”

“Oh. Sure.” Stammered Hermione.

“Monica!” He shouted. Hermione’s mouth was dry as her mother emerged from a group of customers.

“Hello, I’m Monica.” She introduced. “Sorry about Wendell here, he saw you and got a bit excited. I told him not to bother you but-“

“It’s not a problem.”

Hermione stood with a awkward smile as her mother stood next to her and her father took a photo.

“Great, thanks.” Said Hermione’s father.

“Hermione, have you decided what you-“ Severus wandered over and stopped when he saw her with the couple.

“Severus, this is _Monica_ and _Wendell_. Um, and this is Severus.” Hermione introduced, and hoped her emphasis made it clear who they were.

“Lovely to meet you.” He said, darting a look to Hermione.

“Are you from England? We lived there almost our whole lives but moved here a few years ago.” Monica said conversationally.

“Yes, we’re here on holiday.” Said Severus, when it became obvious to him Hermione was struggling slightly.

“Oh, I do miss parts of home.” Said Monica. She and Wendell shared one of those looks that people who have been together for years have, a whole conversation reduced to a glance.

“We’d love if you could join us for dinner. I was going to barbecue some lamb. We can grill you about the Motherland.” Invited Wendell.

“That would be nice.” Said Severus.

“Well here is our address.” Said Monica, writing it on the back of a receipt. “Just pop around around sixish, please don’t bring anything.”

“Sure, thank you.” Said Severus, taking the small piece of paper from her and putting it in his pocket.

“Great.” Hermione managed to croak out. The couple waved and left the shop.

“Sorry, I’m not really hungry now.” She said to Severus.

“Let’s go back to the house.” He said.

—————————

Five o’clock saw Hermione throwing up from anxiety. Severus rubbed her back and wordlessly handed her a Calming Draught.

“I can’t.” She said. “I need to concentrate to help with the reversal.”

“Hermione, there is no arguing you are a very gifted witch, but you are too close to this. I think I should do it alone.”

“I’m a bit torn between finally getting a compliment on my intelligence out of you and angry you think I’m too emotional to do it.”

She rinsed her mouth out and went back to sit on the lounge. Severus followed her and sat beside her.

“If, by chance, you failed to reverse the spell and instead damaged their minds irrevocably, you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself. But if I do it and fail, you’ll hate me the rest of your life, and blame me for insisting on doing it, but I think you’d be okay.” He said.

Hermione stared straight ahead, but she reached over and took his hand in hers.

“How will you do it?” She asked.

“Imagine doing a puzzle, that is all white, with no edges, no regular shape, is three dimensional and exists at several points in time.” Severus tried to explain.

“Sounds like a doddle.” Said Hermione, downcast.

“Exactly.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angourie is a real place, and it is beautiful. Fun fact, it is an Australian Surfing Reserve and the break is world famous. It is surrounded by national park and the traditional owners of the area are the Yaegl people. 
> 
> For those unaware of Australian slang, “Pom” is a term used to describe Brits (see also Pommie). I completely disagree it is used in a negative way in a modern context, it is used in a teasingly affectionate way. Australians love England, that’s why half of us live over there and we stubbornly hang on to the monarchy. See also:
> 
>  
> 
> [Calling pommie people poms](http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/2017/11/22/great-news-everybody-its-perfectly-fine-to-call-pommie-people-poms_a_23284903/)
> 
>  
> 
> However, in saying that, if anyone is offended by the use of the word in this chapter I will immediately remove it.


	3. Memories

The Grangers slept placidly side by side on the couch. Hermione had slipped a low level sleeping potion into glasses of wine she had poured them. She felt terrible, as bad as she had when she’d messed with their heads years ago, but there was no other way. Severus was sitting on a chair in front of them, eyes closed. She was standing a few steps back, trying to remain calm. They’d decided to go with a modified memory charm, and she’d given Severus the vials with her parents’ missing memories as well as a new one. This memory was of Hermione explaining what she’d done, and why, and a summarised version of what had transpired in the war and beyond. Hermione had researched Australia thoroughly before the trip. Technically they _were_ committing a crime using the charm on muggles, but it wasn’t a regulated spell so she doubted anyone would be alerted. It was a very low level charm as well, so Hermione felt confident the information she’d brought with them about her parent’s history would stand up if they ended up being questioned by any officials.  
  
Severus thought he’d succeeded. The original memories had been the easiest to return, it had been harder to add the constructed one of Hermione’s explanation without creating too much damage. Tiptoeing around in minds was not generally the order of the day in Voldemort times, the preference was for more of a ‘scorched earth’ approach. Back then Severus had mostly spent time rebuilding minds in order to reach a point of stability to get more information, not to return coherence. He tentatively withdrew from the mind of Hermione’s father. He hadn’t used the modified memory charm Hermione had painstakingly devised, as his own, darker research had suggested Legilimency was probably the best—well....if Severus was brutally honest with himself, probably the _only_ option. This was something he thought he’d wait to mention to Hermione later. If her parents were alright. And she was still talking to him.

Voldemort was quite the fan of rearranging minds, Severus mused, and before he was killed (the first time), he’d had a lot of success planting fake memories. These were mostly in the minds of Ministry officials, but the most successful one he never boasted of. In the ‘good’ old days, where there were more jovial times with Riddle—less creeping around barefoot and caressing his snake and more drinking and carousing—he’d told Severus he’d implanted a memory on Bellatrix. Rodolphus had been acting out, making noises about taking on more of a leadership role in the group. So Riddle had created a very detailed shagfest between himself and Bella—which, to Severus’ great dismay, was intricately outlined to him by Riddle in all it’s excruciating detail—and plopped it into her mind. He probably imagined this would lead to some sort of cuckold impotence in Rodolphus, thus rendering him less of a threat. What it actually created was an obsession that lasted until Bella was taken out by Molly. Severus, when he was bored and feeling particularly petty, would give Bella’s mind a small push, bumping the memory back to the forefront of her thoughts again. It was even more hilarious once Riddle returned, as Severus was fairly certain he no longer was capable of operating anything in the downstairs department. Although, now he thought more about it, Riddle did end up with that snake tongue so perhaps—Severus’ brain refused to extrapolate beyond that point, citing the likelihood of causing irreversible trauma as too high.

It was rather an anticlimax when Hermione’s parents awoke. Her mother opened her eyes first, blinked slowly, saw Hermione and exclaimed “Oh Hermione, love!”. Her father had stood up and just walked up and put his arms around her. Hermione had burst into tears. Severus let himself out the front door to sit on the porch steps. A man, wearing what could only be described as an approximation of a bathing suit gave a wave as he walked past with a dog on a leash. Severus shuddered, there definitely were strong cons to Australia. He decided looking up was safest, and leant back, taking in the Milky Way above. It had been a while since the last time he sat on front steps like this. He lost someone their parents once, but then again, he just gave someone else their parents back, so swings and roundabouts really. Severus didn’t believe in fate, he believed in lurching from one shitfight to another until you dropped dead, but even he had to admit there was some feeling of universal karmic balance to what he had done.

“There you are!” Hermione said from behind him. “Come inside I want to introduce you properly!” She sounded very excited, Severus thought, which of course made it impossible to refuse returning to her parents .

“So where do you know each from?” Hermione’s mother asked, eyeing Severus a little warily.

“Oh, um, we knew each other from Hogwarts, but we only just reconnected a few months ago.” Said Hermione nervously, holding Severus’ hand while they sat on the couch. Severus, an expert in side-eye action (he had learnt all he knew from the world’s leading practitioner Minerva) noticed Hermione’s father’s attempted covert glances at their clasped hands.

“And what do you do at the moment..er...Severus?” Hermione’s mother was obviously the Inquisitor in the family.

“Well technically I’m on leave at the moment, but I’m not sure I’ll return to the position.” Severus replied cagily.

“And what position is that?” Asked Hermione’s father.

“Headmaster at Hogwarts.” Severus said smoothly, let them make whatever they wanted of _that_.

——————————

By the time they returned home Hermione was exhausted but buzzing with excitement. She was babbling to Severus incessantly about her parents, then would stop and squeeze him tightly in a fierce hug, then dash away to begin the cycle again. Severus, who had not seen Hermione like this, was equal parts amused and, well, bemused. When she finally ran out of steam and collapsed on the coach, he sat beside her, completely worn out. The Legilimency had taken a lot of energy, as did the ensuing grilling dealt out by the Grangers. They had ended up having the barbequed lamb after all (which had been delicious) and the Grangers had opened the wine Hermione and Severus had brought. They’d asked Hermione a lot about her life, as well as about Harry, and Hermione had happily told them everything. Everything, Severus noticed, included the story of rescuing him from Azkaban and the subsequent investigation into the Ministry. Their glances during the story at Severus were an annoyingly familiar mix of curiosity and apprehension.

Finally, Hermione yawned.

“I’m done.” She sighed. She tilted her head to look at him. “Thank you so much Severus. For everything. I can’t tell you what this means to me.” He smiled.

“It was my pleasure.” Said Severus, looking down at Hermione. He bent down and kissed her deeply. Hermione was initially surprised at the urgency to his passion, but eagerly responded. She was feeling very warm and, although she was tired, she was thinking seriously of divesting herself of an item of clothing when there was a knock at the door. She broke off the kiss.

“Was that a knock?”

Severus untangled himself and went to the front door. Two women stood on the front step, in business suits, appearing very incongruous at the door of the beach house.

“Severus Snape?” The shorter woman asked.

“Yes.”

“As representatives of the New South Wales Auror Department, we are detaining you today for the following offences. Casting a restricted spell, using magic on muggles and breaching your visa conditions. We are remanding you to our custody for the purposes of undertaking a statement. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Said Severus. Hermione, for once in her life was speechless.

“Will you come voluntarily, or will we be required to restrain you?” The taller woman—witch—asked.

“I’ll come voluntarily.” Severus said, stepping forward.

“Now just wait a minute!” Said Hermione, her powers of speech returning,

“We are taking him to headquarters in Sydney.” The shorter witch said, handing over an envelope. “You’ll find directions that will allow you to apparate there should you need to.”

“Fine.” Said Hermione, taking the paper. She looked, Severus thought, quite calm. Which he supposed meant she wasn’t.

“Hermione, I’ll be fine. Please, spend some time with your parents.” He said in what he thought was a soothing manner. Her face suggested it had been anything but.

The taller Auror took Severus’ arm and as they spun away he held Hermione’s gaze as long as he could and tried for a comforting smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that the issue of Hermione’s parents can be handled in a myriad of ways. Anything from she never attempts to fix them, to a possible outcome where she tried and destroys their minds. Similarly if she succeeded her parents could react with displeasure, anger, relief etc etc. I’ve chosen this fairly non-angsty outcome because it fits with the parents Hermione has in this story. They love her very much and that capacity for love means they react with relief she is alive and has survived the war, and forgive the spell she cast. Her new relationship on the other hand... ;)
> 
> I didn’t take the reader through the reversal in any great detail I wanted to spend time on the real fun, Severus getting arrested.


	4. Incarceration

Severus was sitting a small, very cool room. He was positive they were using muggle air conditioning, not a cooling charm and spent some portion of his time waiting staring at the vents in the ceiling, pondering what other muggle devices they used regularly here. He wondered if Hermione was spending the time catching up with her parents. He supposed she may even try that surfing lesson. He passed some very pleasurable minutes constructing a vision in his mind of Hermione in a bikini (green of course). It was a novel experience for Severus to be able to design a fantasy that firstly, was based on someone who had actually spoken to him within the past twenty-four hours and secondly, whose last words to him had been something other than a variant of Fuck Off And Die. He had begun to dot small freckles along imaginary Hermione’s shoulders when the other, more insecure part of himself decide to create a very attractive, muscular surf instructor around her own age who immediately took the imaginary Hermione into his arms. He sighed and dumped the whole thing, and instead decided to concentrate on keeping his mind completely clear. He was doing well in this regard when a small, dark wizard entered the room and sat at the table across from Severus,

“Hello Mister Snape, my name is Jeremy Gough, I’m the commander for this region.” He tapped a ballpoint pen on the table, which drew Severus’ attention. Gough waved the pen when he saw Severus had noticed it.

“Yes, no quills here I’m afraid, the ink dries too quickly. Makes the whole exercise pointless.”

“Understandable.” Shrugged Severus.

“It’s not often we arrest celebrities here.” Said Gough. Severus drew in every reserve of willpower not to sneer and instead keep his face completely neutral. Gough looked at a scroll in front of him.

“So.....back to life after some time. Lots of excitement over the pond about it.”

“Yes.”

“But I’m far more interested in your activities here.”

“Yes.”

“You already knew Legilimency was a restricted spell in Australia, my officers tell me you were expecting their arrival, yet you did it anyway.”

“Yes.”

“On a muggle couple. I don’t need to tell you casting spells on muggles is illegal here.”

Pause. “No.”

“I’d like to talk more about muggles with you. Are you familiar with _Mongoose_?”

If Severus had been a different man, he would have reacted, but he wasn’t, so he didn’t. Mongoose had been a disastrous idea he had ran with just after being handed the reins of Hogwarts and before the start of the first term. He’d thought it up in a moment of insanity as he sat at the Headmaster’s desk and the ledger began to fill with the names of muggleborn children who would be receiving an owl in the near future. He looked at the list and felt sick. He managed to find a contact, a muggleborn witch who’d decided to almost exclusively live in the muggle world and had joined the army. As far as Severus could gather, after several tours to the Middle East conflict she’d been medically discharged and lived off a disability pension. She appeared to be resourceful, angry and no fan of Wizarding society, which was as close to perfect a combination as Severus could envision. He’d worn a glamour to meet the woman, a simple beautifying one that Lockhart, that utter waste of oxygen, had used on a daily basis. The amount of effort required to keep the charm in effect went a long way to explain why Lockhart could barely function enough to tie his robes. At the time Severus had briefly wondered if his life would had been different if he’d looked like the Severus he’d seen reflected back at himself, then abandoned that thought just as he’d abandoned seeking out the mirror of Erised. Wanting impossible things was a pointless use of emotional energy that, at the time, he didn’t have to spare.

In any case, he was basically unrecognisable because of the handsomeness the charm projected, which was a depressing thought in itself. He’d given the woman the list, and all the galleons he’d previously had hidden at Spinners End. What was he saving it for at any rate? Perhaps a magnificent funeral that no one would attend except perhaps Minerva, and that would be only to make sure he was dead. He’d instructed the witch to locate and hide as many of the children on the list as she could with the money. He’d warned her that they were likely to be targeted, and it would be Very Bad for anyone to know she had a copy of the list he gave her. He was dead anyway, it was a question of when rather than if, so what did it matter if it this expedited it? The woman had dismissed the warnings, agreed to the task and insisted that they needed an operation name, which Severus couldn’t care less about. _Mongoose_. _For fuck’s sake._ After the meeting, Severus had momentarily cast his mind to the issue of the muggleborn in Potter’s year, but it was too risky, they were too well known. He mollified his concerns with the belief that the Order would oversee the protection of them and their families. Of course, now he realised they’d done stuff all about anyone but the Dursleys (ugh) which was, he pondered, the reason he was here, in custody, in Australia.

Severus hadn’t heard from the woman again, but he recognised her on a visit to Malfoy Manor not long afterwards, being tortured by McNair. Severus had felt a familiar dull ache of guilt that sharpened when Voldemort ordered the woman’s death. She’d refused to give them any information about what she’d been doing, and whatever muggle medication she’d been on had made Legilimency incredibly difficult. They only could see endlessly looping fragments of her military memories. Bellatrix had gone in hard and had been plagued by hallucinations for two days afterwards. To his relief they had not called upon Severus’ skills in this regard. The woman had flipped them the bird as they’d cast the curse, which Severus had thought of at the time as one of few acts of outright defiance he’d seen in a prisoner. He had no idea if the witch had just taken the money and spent it, or had at least tried to hide some of the children. Later, in the waking nightmare that was his time as Headmaster, it was clear there were practically no muggleborn children in the lower years when the term began. But there had been so many raids, Severus had no idea if those students were dead, or their parents had ignored the letter, or even if Minerva had warned them off. He had no time to dig into it either, so he’d just let it pass. Sometimes he thought about that woman, and hoped he’d also be able to shoot off some type of vulgar gesture when his time came, but when it did he was too busy clutching at his neck and writhing in pain to do anything much at all.

“Not especially.” Was the reply he gave Gough.

“Not especially eh. Well I was relocation logistics for it. Before it went balls up.”

Severus frowned.

“Relocation logistics?”

“Yes, once they got here, finding them places to go, jobs for the parents, immigration clearance. You know, logistics.” Severus looked at him, insides boiling, but he sat there completely passive.

“How many did you relocate?” He asked neutrally.

“Nineteen seperate families before they cut the pipe at the other end.”

Severus ruminated on this piece of information. That crazy witch had linked up to a network in Australia and had got nineteen out in a matter of weeks. Resourceful indeed. Still dead though, he thought. Middle finger to Voldemort as she went. Screw you.

“I see.”

“What happened to her?”

“Tortured, killing curse.”

“Ah. She told us only two people knew about Mongoose where she was. Herself and the instigator. They’d provided the list and the funds.”

Severus shrugged.

“See, we figured the list had to have come from someone with access to the school records...very close access, _Headmaster_ access. When it all came out about you after you were, well, dead, we put it together and guessed you were the one behind it.”

“Did you tell anyone back in Britain?”

“Merlin no. Your Ministry still reeked of anti-muggle bias. Everyone knew that. So we kept it in-house.”

“Sensible.”

“They’re doing well you know. All the kids.”

“That.....is good to hear.”

“And now we return to our current situation. The Wilkins, Sorry, _Grangers_ , are giving us statements at the moment—regarding your actions—and we’ve already taken one from their daughter.”

“They’re here?”

“Yes. Their daughter contacted us after your arrest to organise a clearance to bring her parents here via side-apparation.”

“Ah.”

“She’s waiting outside to speak to you.”

“Oh.”

“Exactly.”

“That bad?”

“Yep.”

Gough escorted Severus out to another room, where Hermione sat, drumming her fingers on the table and looking exceedingly angry. Gough directed him to a seat across from her, which he took. Gough glanced at Hermione’s face, then mouthed _Good Luck_ to Severus and walked out, smirking to himself.

Severus looked at her, his face expressionless and slowly raised one eyebrow.

“Don’t you _dare_ Professor Snape me.” Said a furious Hermione. “I cannot believe you did this.”

“What do you mean? Your parents are back. Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“What the hell Severus?”

“Everything I read indicated this was the only way.”

“Well we could have had a discussion about it. Maybe, oh, I don’t know, you could have mentioned you were planning using a spell that was going to end in your arrest by foreign law enforcement. _Instead_ of leaving it as a surprise.” Hermione hissed.

“I wanted you to have them back. To make you happy.”

Hermione threw up her hands in frustration.

“I told Harry once he had a ‘saving people’ thing. You have a ‘sacrifice myself’ thing.”

“Excuse me?” Severus felt his own anger rising. Hermione abruptly changed her tone.

“Severus. I am not with you because you are useful to me. I am with you because you are funny, brave and caring. I also used to think you were brilliant, but I am drastically rescaling my thoughts on that particular trait after this.”

“I see.”

“You don’t have to make some grand gesture, or put aside your own life or freedom for me to think well of you. I swear if I find a time turner that goes back far enough I will use it and hex the shit out of everyone who made you think that was your singular worth as a human being.”

“Hermione.”

“And the next time I’m at Hogwarts I’m throwing acetone on Dumbledore’s painting.”

“Hermione!”

“Well I am. If you get to break the law in another country so spectacularly I get a free pass of reckless abandon as well.” She folded her arms and frowned at him. Severus thought she looked extraordinarily pretty when she was fired up, then he mentally admonished himself for being so wet. He leant forward just as Hermione opened her mouth again.

“Granger!” Severus said sternly. She shut it. “Listen. You said you liked me the way I am. Well this _is_ the way I am. I promise to discuss things better with you in the future, but I’m not Potter or Weasley. I’m not going to immediately drop dead if you aren’t right there looking after me and constantly telling me what to do.”

“Okay.” She said. “Thats a fair point.” She conceded. He smiled.

“Although don’t put aside the acetone just yet, I was warming to that particular idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it could be argued canon Snape wouldn’t undertake action such as the one described here that would put ‘the plan’ in jeopardy. I think he was completely out of fucks by the time he was a Headmaster and was barrelling towards the end. So I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch.
> 
> There are women in the military who have done multiple tours of duty to the Middle East. So again I chose a woman to be hard core in this story as opposed to a man. There is prior form (historical) for evacuating children from Britain to Australia during wartime. So I don’t think that is a stretch for her to think of that and for Australia to be receptive to it.


	5. Fame

Hermione sat in the Sydney portkey station hate-reading Rita Skeeter’s newly released unauthorised biography on Harry. Severus was next to her, drumming his fingers on his knee. The Australian authorities had decided to let Severus go with a warning in regards to the first two charges, but were deporting him as a result of the breach of his visa conditions. Hermione had taken her parents back to Angourie and packed all of their belongings before meeting Severus back in Sydney. He had told her to stay in Australia for a while with her parents but she’d refused, saying they were planning a trip to England at any rate in the immediate future. Hermione had mentioned she’d offered to her parents that she and Severus could show them the changes to the Wizarding world since their departure and would also organise a dinner with the Weasleys. She had not found it funny when Severus suggested he’d undergone enough torture in his life and this was Cruel and Unusual Punishment she was suggesting.

She wasn’t sulking, Hermione justified to herself when she turned another page in icy silence, she just didn’t have anything much to say to him at the moment. Severus on the other hand, found it hilarious, and her reaction even funnier. Ignoring his grin, Hermione turned the next page in the book, went slightly pale, shut the book immediately and tucked it back into her bag. Severus observed this with interest.

“What did your parents say about me?” He said, breaking the silence.

“They were very thankful you restored their memories.” Hermione said somewhat stiffly.

“Hmm, slippery answer. I meant about me and, well, you.”

“I know what you meant, I was trying to be sneaky.” Hermione said, in a much warmer tone.

“Five points for trying.”

“They....have some reservations.”

Severus sighed.

“Mum did ask about ‘that nice red-headed boy’ but I said I didn’t know any nice, red-headed boys, I only knew Ron.”

“I’m sure they always pictured the perfect man for their only daughter as almost exactly like me. This is what I was worried about, with us. Let’s be honest, people are going to think you could do better.” Severus said dubiously. Hermione frowned and shook her head.

“That’s not true at all. When I went and saw Minerva, I didn’t need to convince her about you, I had to convince her about _me_.” She said. Severus looked at her, confused.

“She said you’d been through enough, and if I wasn’t serious about you it would be better if I stayed away.”

“She told me that you’d, well, in a word, threatened her.” Severus said slowly.

“Oh I did. Once we’d got past that bit, she was actually pretty open about her reservations, and they were all about whether I was good for you, not the other way around.”

“You obviously convinced her.”

“Well I’m very convincing. Convinced you didn’t I?” Hermione said, elbowing him softly.

“Convinced....badgered into submission....a question of semantics really.” Severus said distractedly, he was thinking about Minerva.

“I am _very_ serious about you.” Hermione told him, smiling. Severus furrowed his brow. He felt uneasy when Hermione was direct, as if she gave him on a plate where she was most vulnerable. Not that he would intentionally use it against her, but then again, maybe it was a habit that was difficult to break. He suddenly realised she’d said something quite important, and he was sitting here not saying anything and looking worried. That was bad right?

“Sorry. That was probably a bit sudden. Um, and soon. Sorry.” Hermione said, backtracking. Severus groaned internally at himself. He had to say something, anything, she was rapidly turning very red.

“Not at all.” He said, and she beamed which then morphed into a somewhat expectant half-smile. He thought he probably should say something more, but wasn’t quite sure what. He panicked internally when the wattage of her smile dimmed somewhat but it turned out that old habits did die hard so he showed nothing of this internal dilemma on his face.

“What were you reading?” He asked, not really as a diversion, but maybe yes, as a diversion. Hermione’s eyes darted to the side, then she huffed.

“Oh. Well Rita was noting how _amazing_ it was that Harry managed to get anything done while were on the run with me throwing myself at him every spare minute.”

“I wasn’t aware how alluring Potter was during your tent adventures.” Severus said with a hint of sarcastic disbelief.

“They both smelt and snored, and Ron bitched constantly before buggering off. It was obviously every fantasy I’d ever had come to life.” Hermione complained. Severus laughed.

“I see. I’m very interested in hearing more about these fantasies.” He drawled and she smiled at him.

“Are you sure? They’re _very_ dirty.” She teased flirtatiously.

“My favourite kind.” Said Severus. It was obvious to him that Hermione had just completely lied to his face about what she was reading, but he was also aware it was not the time to push her on it. She seemed to relax a bit after their banter and rested her head against his shoulder. They sat in silence for a minute or so before Severus saw an official coming towards them with a portkey.

—————————

When they arrived back in the London station, there was an owl waiting for Hermione. She took the scroll, read it, looked confused, then read it again.

“What’s the matter?”

“It’s Harry, he says to apparate _into_ Grimmauld Place only.” She shrugged. “No reason given.” Snape raised an eyebrow.

They apparated into the kitchen, and although it was the middle of the night, Ron and Harry both sat there, looking tense.

“Hi!” Hermione squealed and ran over them to hug them both, starting with crushing Harry against her.

“What’s the issue Weasley?” Severus asked. Ron shook his head.

“We get rid of them, then people just come back and put more. It’s bloody Rita’s book. There’s a whole chapter on you.” He said angrily. “Stupid bint.”

“What are you getting rid of?” Hermione asked, still with an arm around Harry. Ron nodded towards the front of the house. Severus walked over and peered out the closest window.

Out the front of the house four ethereal does gambolled about, grazing on nothing. Snape’s face drained of colour.

“Fuck.” He said.

“Muggles can’t see them because of the charm on the house, but we thought it might be a shock if you’d come across them without warning.” Harry said wearily. Hermione walked over to the window as well.

“Oh....” Said Hermione.

“Fuck.” Severus said again.

“Yeah.” Ron agreed. “I told Harry that’s what you’d say.”

“I think I might go to bed.” Severus said tonelessly.

“Hey, so....Charlie was in town and crashed here while you were in Australia so we moved your stuff into Hermione’s room.” Harry said. Severus nodded sharply and swept out the door without another word.

“That went just as well as I thought it would.” Sighed Ron. “Sorry Hermione. We think they mean it as some sort of tribute to him. Freaked us both out. I thought it was a ghost and might have screamed just a little, Harry had forest flashbacks. It was messy all around.”

“Yeah. Messy.” Sighed Harry. “How are your parents?” He asked, a little desperately.

“Oh, great. Great! They’re coming to visit....um...soon.” Hermione said distractedly, looking at the door Severus had just walked through, then towards the front window. She chewed on her lip.

“Well, you can tell us about it tomorrow anyway. And we can tell you about the candidates for the vacant Minister position.” Said Harry, standing up and shooting Ron a look. Ron stood as well.

“Yeah. Um, good idea. So. Er. Goodnight and um, all that.” Ron said.

Hermione kissed them both and went upstairs. She had a long shower before making her way to her room. The light was off but she could see Severus was already in bed, under the covers. He was very still, and his breath was slow and even, so Hermione thought he may be asleep. She very quietly pulled down the blanket on her side and slipped into bed. He was facing the wall and she stared as his back for a minute or so in the darkness before coming to a decision and snaking an arm around his waist. He immediately put his hand on hers.

“She writes utter tripe for idiots.” Hermione said to the back of his head.

“Yes.” Severus sighed. Hermione twisted her lip, _Stupid Stupid Rita_.

“Do you want me to put her in a jar again?” She offered. There was a brief moment of complete silence then Severus laughed.

“Fucking hell Granger I’m glad you didn’t end up in Slytherin. Watch out world.”

“I would have been a kind and benevolent leader.” Said Hermione nobly. “With laws mandating reading at least one book a day and no discussion of Quidditch after five.” Severus rolled over to face her.

“I’m the mild one in this relationship.” He said. “You’re the terrifying one.” Hermione put a finger to his lips.

“That’s our secret.” She whispered. “You can stalk around scowling and billowing, doing good deeds covertly and I’ll smile and play nice and take out anyone that messes with you.” She felt him move forward across the mattress, then his mouth pressed against hers in a kiss.

“So you’ve got my back, do you?” He said softly against her lips. She could feel he was smiling.

“Sure have,” Hermione confirmed, then reached down. “...and your front as well.”


	6. Infamy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about delay. I got a bit caught up (um...obsessed) with the redux stuff with MyWitch and forgot to upload!

“I’m all about the silencing charms these days.” Commented Ron conversationally as he buttered some toast. Hermione chewed her own toast and telegraphed both annoyance and a warning with her eyes but also smiled smugly.

“Heard something that confused you did you Weasley?” Asked Snape derisively. “It’s called an _orgasm_ , and, I know this will come as a shock to you, _women_ have them. I’m sure you are bewildered and overwhelmed at something so unfamiliar to you.”

Harry coughed and starting choking on his egg.

“Hey!” Protested Ron.

“Now now Severus.” Said Hermione placatingly.

“What? It’s not my fault he’s shit in the sack.” Severus said, shrugging.

“That’s a bit harsh.” Ron whined.

“Ron.” Said Harry grinning widely. “It’s time to face facts.”

“Oh fuck off the lot of you.” Said Ron, grabbing a piece of bacon and the rest of his dignity and stomped out of the room.

“I don’t know why he starts things with you.” Laughed Harry, shaking his head.

“Because he is an idiot.” Said Severus, reading the Daily Prophet with a revolted expression. As he spoke an owl dropped a pink scroll on the table in front of him. Harry leapt up.

“Ron! Another one!” He shouted. They heard hurried footsteps and Ron ran into the room. Both of them doused the scroll with Aguamenti until it disintegrated.

“Er, What was that?” Asked Hermione.

“It’s another smutty letter for Snape.”

“What?” Snapped Severus, looking at the remains of it with horror.

“They’re like Howlers, except completely filthy. They start off okay, like, a bit kinky nothing too bad then if you don’t respond they get dirtier and dirtier. We listened to a few for laughs but they got out of control. Harry and I learnt some pretty crazy stuff. I mean, _really_ crazy. George told us to hose them off to stop them.”

“George knew how to shut them up did he?” Asked Hermione suspiciously.

“They _may_ be a new Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes product.” Admitted Ron sheepishly.

“Tell your brother to cease the creation of these monstrosities immediately.” Ordered Severus. “This is the sort of shit idiots would find it hilarious to harass witches with.”

“This is exactly what _I_ said.” Harry agreed.

“ _Now_ Weasley.” Insisted Severus, glowering.

“Yes Sir.” Ron capitulated meekly and apparated out.

“How are you faring post-Skeeter exposé?” Hermione asked Harry.

“Not bad. I’ve re-directed all my owls to work so they sort out anything creepy. Which is a lot. I’m getting less underwear than Snape though.” He smiled.

“Wonderful.” Severus said, rolling his eyes.

“I redirected your stuff too Hermione.” Harry said, in a more subdued tone.

“Hate mail central I assume.” Guessed Hermione. Harry nodded. Severus shot her a look.

“Rita tends to take great pride in character assassination. There is always a small part of the population that takes it to heart and decides to send me howlers about what a dirty skank I am and to keep my dirty skank hands off Saint Harry.” Explained Hermione.

“Yeah, people like to assume we did lots of stuff in that tent that didn’t include yelling at each other and starving to death.” Mused Harry.

“Precious memories.” Reminisced Hermione.

“So I should have sent a pizza instead of the sword.” Said Severus drily, looking over the paper at them.

“Oh that would have been amazing.” Said Hermione sighed. “Can you imagine Harry?”

“For sure.” Agreed Harry, closing his eyes and smiling.

“I’ll remember it for the next war then shall I?” Severus said, eyeing the two who were lost in their daydream.

————————————

Minerva convinced Severus to catch up with her at The Three Broomsticks. She argued there was good wine and spirits choice but Severus knew it was because she got a staff discount. As soon as they sat down, he decided it was a terrible idea and hunched uncomfortably over his drink, ignoring the stares.

“Don’t mind them.” Said Minerva, “They’re star struck.”

“Shut up.” Moaned Severus, running a hand over his face.

“How was Australia?” Minerva asked.

“Arresting.”

“Yes. I heard. I went to a lot of trouble to get that waiver you know.” She scolded.

“Yes, yes. It was fine, parents returned, I was released without charge. Fine.” Severus said, waving a hand dismissively.

“And how is Miss Granger?” Asked Minerva primly.

“Cutting right to the chase these days Minerva?” Severus observed.

“Yes. I find it saves time. So...Miss Granger?”

“Fine.”

“Just fine?” Minerva sipped her drink and raised her eyebrows. Severus wriggled uncomfortably on his seat.

“Everything is fine. She’s very.....protective.” Severus finished lamely. Minerva nodded, appearing satisfied.

“Well I’ll have to tell Sybill you are officially off the market. She will be devastated.”

“Leave her alone.” Snarked Severus. He didn’t _like_ Sybill, but he also didn’t like people making fun of her in that way. It reminded him of the way Lily’s friends teased her about him, _stupid Sniv’s crush_. Not everyone could be glamorous and popular, he thought, and there wasn’t any point picking on someone because they liked you. It was pointlessly cruel, and Severus preferred his cruelty to have a purpose. Like making Weasley rethink his Foot-In-Mouth curse, or trying to make Potter Senior rethink waking up every day and designing new and inventive ways to make Severus’ life at school terrible. Still, Severus remembered, Potter was dead, his son was turning out to be almost half-decent and Severus himself was in the midst of a very not-shit part of life. In any case, Sybill may be missing quite a few marbles in the room upstairs but she was part of a very, very small group of people that had thought he could be interesting....romantically. So while he would rather saw his own foot off then spend more than one minute speaking with her, he never mocked her feelings. Just her idiotic beliefs about seeing into the future. That was a more fertile ground for targeting.

“Calm down Severus.” Soothed Minerva. “I thought people are supposed to be nicer when they are getting a good seeing to.”

Severus fixed her with his most loathing-filled glare. She laughed.

“Well I have news. I’ve interviewed for the Minister position.”

Severus looked at her.

“I see.”

“No need to be like that. I’m the perfect age for a career change. And I’m a firm believer in the idea if you want something done properly....do it yourself.”

“Well, I guess you’re used to dealing with children.” Severus huffed.

“That’s the spirit! If I get the job, you should consider a Ministry position. We worked well together once.”

“We have different definitions of well.” Severus said, but his heart wasn’t in it. Maybe he should consider a Ministry job. Steady income may be useful, Severus thought, he had a vague idea people in relationships put money aside for things. But beyond a steady stream of interesting books and good coffee, Hermione didn’t really seem to spend her money on anything really. She didn’t seem to want much more, perhaps the nearly getting killed moments she’d regularly experienced during her early years had made her like that.

“You should definitely think about it.” Minerva said. “Any news on the house?”

“Apparently, I should have it signed back over to me in a matter of days.” Said Severus.

“Sounds positive,” Said Minerva. “You must be getting sick of Grimmauld Place.”

Snape shrugged noncommittally. He was getting a bit sick of Potter and Weasley, but they were bearable enough in very small doses. He had woken up very early that morning because he was cold, then discovered a small bundle next to him consisting of Hermione and ninety-five percent of the blankets. He’d managed to untangle her and then redistribute the covers more evenly, and was just getting resettled when she’d rolled onto him, throwing arms and legs across him. She was deceptively heavy. Severus had lain there until it was time to get up, very uncomfortable, very awake, but conversely the most happy he’d been in a long while. Living in Grimmauld did have its benefits, but he couldn’t imagining convincing Hermione to stay over at his place at Spinner’s End, it was a dump. Minerva interrupted his thoughts by placing a very large whiskey in front of him, honestly keeping up with that witch was going to destroy his liver.

“Come on.” Said witch ordered cheerily. “If I do get this position I’m going to want to celebrate properly, so you’ll need to get back into shape. Maybe even some late night strip-Quidditch.” Minerva said, laughing at Severus’ expression.

“Just in time too.” He said, “I’d only just got over the last match.”

——————————

When he arrived, a little unsteady, back at ‘home’ Severus found Hermione and Potter bent over a book on wards. Both were looking very stressed.

“What’s going on?” He asked. Hermione looked up and smiled broadly at him.

“Oh hello! Nothing much, just strengthening the wards. Harry, I think there is another book which will help us, it was one of Severus’. I’ll just grab it.” She wandered off.

“What’s really going on?” He asked Potter, who screwed up his face and slid the newly arrived edition of the Daily Prophet over. Turning the front page Severus found a photo of himself and Hermione at the portkey office. The photo had been obviously taken after their arrival back from Australia and photo-Severus was being quite daring, brushing photo-Hermione’s hair back and kissing her on the mouth, over and over. GRANGER’S LUST FOR FAME, read the headline above it. Severus looked up.

“What is this?” He asked.

“Skeeter loathes Hermione. Someone obviously sold them that photo and now there is an article about Hermione’s supposed addiction to shagging famous wizards. Apparently it is terribly offensive to, um, well, the memory of Mum. It came out about an hour ago and we’ve been smashed with Howlers since then. They just scream at Hermione calling her a slut and saying she is betraying, um, Mum. They’ve bypassed my owl redirection somehow. So we are trying to strength the wards to just block them completely.”

Severus felt blisteringly angry. He put the paper slowly back on the table and hexed it into confetti. He bit back some wonderful expletives, reached far down into his magical reserves and concentrated on the wards.

Hermione walked back in as he began working on them, the air became very heavy and charged around her. She looked at Harry, who mouthed ‘wards’ at her. Severus opened his eyes.

“Done.” He said. “Nothing will get into this house that isn’t you two, Weasley or a blood relative of any of you. Oh, and myself of course.”

“Oh, thanks!” Said Hermione. “I really—“

“Get the jar.” Severus requested through clenched teeth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....Sybill. I’ve read fics where Snape is absolutely appalled that Sybill has a thing for him and is really mean to her about it. I don’t think they would get on, but in my fanon he doesn’t make fun of her because people made fun of him about a crush, and he hated it. So, he just avoids her really. 
> 
> I’m also flipping a bit What Snape predicted would happen. He thought everyone would be pounding on his door with pitchforks once they found out about Hermione. But Skeeter hates her, people would be dying to get in his pants coz fame and everything so hence she’s the one copping it.


	7. The new Minister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Final chapter is here! It’s a bit longer than I normally do to make up for it. :))

“So.” Said Draco, “you and Snapey hey?”

“Yep.” Said Hermione.

“Certainly now explains why you kept beating me in Potions.” Draco grinned at her.

“Well yes, that and you were a talentless hack.” Pointed out Hermione.

“Did you go down for some ‘extra tuition?” Draco asked, eyebrows waggling. “And by going down I meant..”

“The dungeons.” Hermione said firmly. Draco laughed into his pint.

“Sure, whatever. I’m just wondering if you did... go down I mean....”

“Constantly.” Hermione answered. “That’s why my hair was such a mess the whole time.”

Draco looked briefly shocked, then laughed, and hearing his high, irrepressible giggle was a fairly decent reward for her joke.

“Well the Slytherin girls will be impressed at any rate, you’ve done something they’ve never been able to.”

“What do you mean?”

“Okay, so you liked Snape at school even though he was bloody horrid to you right? Now, he was really nice to us. I mean, he was our Head.”

“Ooooookay.” Hermione wasn’t really sure where Draco was going with this.

“And he had that power and danger combo. Witches like that type of thing.”

“Well I assume you’re the expert.” Hermione said dryly. “So your point is?”

“So....it wasn’t _uncommon_ for a senior girl to have..er...unexpected insomnia....or...a nightmare that would necessitate the walk to the Head’s Chambers in the middle of the night in skimpy nightwear.”

Hermione’s mouth dropped open.

“You’re kidding.”

Draco laughed.

“Merlin. Your face! No I’m not joking! You Gryffindors, bloody prudes!”

“Oh, so....he....”

“Oh no! That was the funniest bit. Many tried, none succeeded. Apparently he would just invite them in, give them a hot drink, say something comforting and send them on their way with either a Calming Potion or a Dreamless Sleep. Lot of disappointed young ladies...” Draco was still laughing. Hermione finally laughed as well, a little in relief.

“You know he probably had no idea about their intentions. He isn’t the best at picking up on those type of signals.” Hermione said. She had a bizarre image of a ingénue—dressed in a very revealing nightie—knocking on a door that opened to reveal a sleepy, disheveled Severus (something Hermione happen to think was very sexy), who then proceeded to give her a hot chocolate, a metaphorical pat on the head and escorted her back to the dormitory leaving the witch with nothing but a potion and a pout. She grinned to herself.

“What a crapshoot those years were.” Draco reminisced, he tended to morose thoughts after his second pint.

“We survived them, almost intact.” Hermione said cheerily.

“The Ministry is returning most of the money Father paid to Carding.” Said Draco suddenly.

“Well that’s good isn’t it?”

“I’ve had an idea about how to use it, and I thought you might be interested. I mean, you can’t go back to the Ministry surely.”

“Well it has lost its allure, certainly.” Agreed Hermione. “What were you planning on doing?”

“Well. It sprung from the stuff we did together. I thought, we could run a program and organise muggle and Wizarding experiences. We take students, and the Wizarding born mentor the muggleborn when we go to Wizarding things, and vice versa. The muggle outings should include art and sport but also the science and history stuff we used to do. So everyone is exposed to a range of different environments and try to break down stereotypes and, you know, beliefs that are not based in reality.”

Hermione looked at Draco and blinked in surprise. He took her initial silence as reticence.

“I can pay you a salary, at least for three years. I was thinking we could try and convince Snape, he could run a duelling club as part of it, teach kids properly. I mean, I’d pay him as well.”

“Oh!” Said Hermione.

“And I’ve been to Hogwarts already and spoken to the head and Deputy Head. If I can staff it and get it up and running they’ll endorse approved trips as Hogwarts excursions.” Draco interrupted. Hermione put up a hand.

“Draco, stop! I’m interested. But no Houses while we do this right? Everyone mixes with everyone?”

“Definitely.” Agreed Draco. He smiled. “You think you can convince the old man?”

“If you want to die, you should keep calling him that, especially in his earshot.” Said Hermione. “When I find him I will. He’s been gone all day, I’m a little worried he may be squashing Skeeter.”

“No great loss there.” Shrugged Draco, to which Hermione privately agreed.

“Maybe, but I don’t want him back in Azkaban. It was a fluke we got him out the first time!” Hermione groaned, crossing her arms.

“Ah, So you don’t object to him doing something to Skeeter, you are only worried about if he was caught. Classic Hermione.”

Hermione shrugged.

“Just got my priorities straight.”

Draco laughed and finished his drink.

When Hermione returned home Severus was there, having tea with Luna.

“There you are!” Said Hermione delightedly. She crossed over to him and kissed him. “Is Rita still alive?”

“Yes.” Said Severus, but he was smirking a little evilly. Luna was smiling as well.

“Tea Hermione?” She offered, Hermione looked between them.

“Yes please. Alright, give it up, what’s going on?”

“Miss Lovegood contacted me about doing an interview for The Quibbler. I decided it was a good opportunity to unburden myself.” Severus said, sipping his tea.

“The public has a right to know.” Luna agreed seriously, slightly cryptically, but still smiling.

“I’m completely lost.” Said Hermione.

“Perhaps if you read my interview.” Luna offered, handing over the paper to her. Sent out in the last hour.” Hermione frowned in confusion but took it.

HERO’S HEARTACHE said the front page, with an image of Severus giving a fair approximation of noble but devastated.

“What on Earth?”

“I know. We don’t usually do this type of tabloid reporting, but I felt this was for a particularly good cause.” Luna said, Severus was silent.

“‘ _The release of Rita Skeeter’s biography on Harry Potter and her recent coverage of my relationship with reference to Lily has made me feel like she has been taken from me all over again_.’” Hermione read aloud. She looked up.

“What?”

“Keep reading.” Luna said soothingly.

“‘ _Every chapter and article has been like a knife to my heart_.’” Hermione read. She looked at Severus. “What!!?”

“I’m a sad, damaged man.” Said Severus. “She’s making my life a living hell, constantly tortured by my past.” He wiped away a non-existent tear.

There was a pop outside the door and Harry came in.

“Ron’s going to be late, he’s been called over the the Daily Prophet’s headquarters, it’s carnage, people are screaming at the editor, calling for paper to fire Rita. Apparently they’ve been hit by dozens of Howlers in the last half an hour. She’s gone to ground, no one knows where she is.”

Hermione looked at Severus.

“Ohhhhhh.” She said.

“I contacted the Editor of the Daily Prophet and I said I’d run one of these every time they printed a Skeeter article on you.” Said Luna.

“I have more to share.” Said Severus somewhat dramatically, placing a hand on his heart. Hermione felt a bit teary.

“Thank you.” She said.

“My pleasure.” Beamed Luna.

Severus got up and walked over to Hermione and enveloped her in his arms.

“I’ve got _your_ back too.” He said in her ear. She hugged him back very tightly.

“I don’t have idea idea what is happening but if it pissed off Skeeter I’m completely in support.” A bemused Harry said. Then his face screwed up a little. “Although whatever is happening now is a little bit traumatising.” He continued as Hermione and Severus began kissing.

“Shut up Harry.” Said Luna happily. “It’s nice.”

“It’s a little gross.” Said Harry.

“Well Hermione never complained when you were slobbering all over Ginny, and that was very squelchy.” Countered Luna calmly. Harry blushed.

“Well. Yes. Point taken.”

——————————————

Severus shook his head at the raised voices in the room downstairs as he walked down the stairs at Spinner’s End. The Ministry had finally returned his house, and he’d decided to move back there post-haste. Potter had seemed more and more interested by the day in having Severus take him on a jaunt down memory lane, a lane that revolved around his parents. Severus had zero interest in that lane, and in fact would go out of his way to avoid that particular lane even if every other lane was on fire. So the return of his house had occurred at a most opportune point in time. Severus had tentatively suggested to Hermione she was welcome at his house if she felt she wanted to, although there was no pressure, at all, or to feel she was obligated, but she could spend some time there if she felt like it, with him, in the house, you know what, the house was a dump, forget it, it was a stupid idea. That was a week ago, Hermione had arrived the first night with a smile, her bag, some takeaway and hadn’t left since then. Three days after that, Kreacher had appeared. Apparently Potter had told Kreacher he could help fix up Severus’ house if he wanted. As it turned out Kreacher _had_ wanted. He’d been, over the past few days, cleaning and fixing various things broken by the Ministry during their over-exuberant search of Severus’ property. Kreacher had today turned his attention to the library, which Hermione had been pedantically restocking with all the books she had...well...stolen all those years before. Kreacher and Hermione had been arguing all day about how to deal with the old tomes, some grimy with years of being handled.

“You can’t clean these books with magic Kreacher. These are Dark Arts books, they’ll bloody rip your face off.” Hermione was saying with frustration.

“House Elf magic safer than witch magic.” Kreacher was replying in the most haughty yet patronising tone. Severus sighed, this would probably go on for a while if he didn’t intervene.

“Hermione.” He said from the doorway. Hermione was standing in front of a bookshelf, in a stance he’d decided to classify as her ‘I’m telling you what’s best for you whether you like it or not’ pose.

“I know you’d love to stay and argue with this elderly House Elf who _volunteered_ to come and help me sort out my mess, but we are going to be late for Minerva’s celebratory drinks.” Hermione glared at him.

“Don’t make me feel bad for him, he still calls me names when he forgets his manners.” Kreacher shot her an innocent look and she sighed.

“Alright. Kreacher, have it your way, but please don’t hurt yourself.” She moved out of the way towards Severus. “I’ll just get changed, won’t be long.” She took the stairs two at a time. Severus leant against the wall waiting. He was surprised at how pleasant sharing a house with her was. She seemed always happy to spend time with him, which, to be completely honest, was still an unexpected experience. She even was content just to sit with him, reading, occasionally stopping to tell him something interesting, or, more likely for Hermione, something someone had got wrong. At night she put her cold feet on him, hoarded blankets, her hair went everywhere and for the smaller person in the relationship, she always took up an unnecessarily large proportion of the bed. But she would woke him gently when he had nightmares and kissed him and held him until he could fall asleep again. She also liked to do a variety of things to his body which he enjoyed thoroughly and reciprocated whenever he could. All in all, he was happy. He liked her a lot. He had a lot of...feelings...towards Hermione that he was reticent in examining too closely as they made him worry about being vulnerable. So, for now, he just told himself he liked her more than anyone else he knew.

Hermione came back down, in smart robes and her hair was somewhat tamer.

“Do I look okay?” She asked him, looking a bit worried.

“Perfect.” Severus said, without a hint of sarcasm. She smiled.

“Let’s go. Sorry about holding us up.”

“Don’t be, we’ll miss the first round of drinks which, by the way, is fine by me. Minerva threatened to celebrate very thoroughly if she won the Minister position so my liver thanks you.”

“It’s hard to imagine Hogwarts without Minerva.” Hermione said thoughtfully. Severus scoffed.

“It’ll survive. Her irritatingly inflated perceptions on justice are better served as Minister. Merlin help anyone that tries to bribe or threaten her.”

They apparated to the Broomsticks. Hermione could hear the ruckus from outside, it sounded like there was a very large tab running. She suddenly felt nervous and turned to Severus, who looked calm, which generally meant he wasn’t.

“All the staff will be here.” Hermione said hesitantly. “Will it be okay?”

“No, it’ll be very boring and you’ll have to pretend to like people you don’t. Standard operating procedure.” Severus said. “Come on, let’s go inside before Potter and Weasley come looking for you.”

They entered the pub, which was crowded with well wishers and a very happy Minerva in the centre, laughing as Hagrid passed her an enormous ale.

Hermione became aware of Pansy Parkinson and Tracey Davis sitting at a table with Daphne Greengrass in one of the corners of the pub. They had obviously noticed her entry with Severus, and she felt a little wary, especially when he reached back and took her hand. Hermione sent them a small smile, no need to be worried right? To her astonishment Pansy returned the smile, and the three girls raised their glasses in a small toast. Hermione giggled to herself. Severus looked at her.

“You making new friends?” He asked dubiously.

“Er, no, not exactly. Draco thinks I’m their Sir Edmund Hillary, or Tenzing Norgay.”

Severus’ face registered confusion and he frowned, baffled.

“What?”

“Oh nothing, um, Draco was just telling me how a lot of the girls in Slytherin had issues sleeping.” Severus rolled his eyes.

“You don’t have to tell me, I was the one bloody constantly woken up all hours of the night. Nightmares, insomnia, drove me up the wall.”

“Mainly the girls?” Hermione asked innocently.

“Yes. The insomnia was probably due to their insistence on wearing the most incredibly inappropriate sleepwear for a drafty castle in Scotland, I mean Warming Charms can only go so far. I kept telling them to wear flannels or something a bit more substantial but I don’t think they were listening as they never took my advice onboard. What are you laughing at?” He asked in an injured tone.

“Sorry. Nothing. Nothing.” Hermione said, trying to control herself.  
  
“That sounds like the exact opposite of nothing,” Severus said suspiciously, however was distracted by Hooch shouting at him across the room challenging him to some type of Hooch-invented drinking competition. He made a mental note to follow up with Hermione later on whatever was making her shake with silent giggles.

——————————

It hadn’t taken Minerva long to settle into the Ministry, and she was ingratiating herself with the populace with her firm, fair and equitable leadership. Things were beginning to settle. Hermione had returned to Grimmauld Place several times but it had only been for short periods to catch up with her friends. Severus had decided he far preferred life with Hermione in at as opposed to the other option and was, despite his worries, was trying to let down some of his defence mechanisms.

“Severus!” Hermione called from the kitchen.

“Yes!?” He shouted back. Kreacher had finally returned to Grimmauld Place and Severus had been enjoying the peace. Draco had been here every other day, working with Hermione on their business venture and trying to convince him to join. He was wavering, but it did involve teaching, and he hated teaching, Although, it may not be as bad without the...extra-curricular activities he was forced to undertake while he was at Hogwarts. He liked the idea of working with Hermione, but was worried she’d get sick of him if they spent too much time together.

“It’s an official Owl from the Minister.” Said Hermione, looking puzzled.

“Yes?”

“She asks you to report to the Ministry. There is a visiting delegation from Australia and she wants to discuss, I don’t understand, a Mongoose, whatever that means, with you?”

Severus sighed.

“Fuck.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I didn’t squash Rita. But I thought this idea, combining the brain power of Luna and Snape, wasn’t too far from possibility. No killing or jars, but a tiny bit of coercion and something to kill off her career. 
> 
> Regarding the senior girls trying it on Snape. That might be a stretch, but he was quite young at school...you never know. Plus I thought the idea of it was funny. A girl trying the Hint Hint, and him giving them warm milk and a ‘there there’ fatherly fireside chat...as you would be supposed to do as Head.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Mongoose](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13878183) by [Grooot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grooot/pseuds/Grooot)




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